Category Archives: Writing

If Only….

if-only

Yesterday we read a poem called If Only… by Pie Corbett.

We used this structure to create our own version after we had come up with lots of synonyms for catch, and lots of abstract nouns and ideas.

If only you could, what would you catch, and what would you do with it?

Here are our ideas:

If only I could…

If only I could seize a seed of truth
and make it grow
so no one could ever tell a lie

If only I could take hold of hatred
and keep it
then I would throw it in the cellar and never remember

If only I could grip magnetism
and store it
for the hardest times in life

If only I could grab sadness,
and lock it away
to be happy forever

If only I could hold the colours of the rainbow
and share it
with the hateful places of the world

If only I could take sadness
and keep it locked away
so that everyone could be happy

If only I could trap a handful of dreams
and lock them away
for when I am down

If only I could steal hatred
and lock it
in an underground vault for eternity

If only I could snatch a beam of moonlight
and use it
to help people in their dark moments

If only I could spear a star
and light up my days
or use it for inspiration when I’m older

If only I could arrest my dreams
and store them in a vault
and become a police officer

If only I could mummify a memory
and keep it
for a hard time in life

If only I could trap time
and use it
for when I’m late

If only I could catch a ray of moonlight
and treasure it
for the dark days of life

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Hidden secrets

We watched the beginning of this short film clip and then used both this and Julia Jarman’s story planner to plan our own story which started with a character and a problem.

Here is what Caitlin came up with:

It was a dull, horrible day in a large town where the war had struck. A young boy named Norman was very lost and didn’t know where to go or what to do. There was nowhere to hide. But luckily, a taxi driver found him and asked
“Would you like me to take you to a friend of mine’s house so he can look after you in the countryside where you will be safe?” Norman thought for a moment…
“But what about my mother?” he replied.
I’m sure you could write to her when you arrive at the house,” the taxi driver said.
“Ok.” Norman agreed.

On the way to the countryside, the taxi driver and Norman spotted a young girl who was trying to find somewhere to hide. They looked at each other. Then looked back at the girl. The taxi driver, who’s name happened to be John, opened the window and asked, “what’s your name, love?”
“Mary, sir,” She replied.
“Hop in and I’ll take you somewhere safer,” said John.
“Ok.” Mary replied. Then they made their way to the countryside.

Once they’d arrived at the house they were staying at, the first thing they saw was the size of it! They slowly entered. As they were looking around, they spotted a tall man named Mr Granger. He turned around and shouted, “John, why are these smelly evacuees in my house?! Get rid of them this instant!” But, after a bit of persuasion, he soon changed his mind.
“Fine,” he said, still a bit cross.
But they’re living in the attic, where they’re out of my way!” Exclaimed Mr Granger.
“Ok, sir.” John replied, and then he left.
Once Mr Granger had showed them their room, Norman asked, “sir, where’s the toilet?”
It’s over there,” he replied, pointing to the corner of the room.
It was a small, wooden bucket with insect bite marks around the brim. It was also full of mould.
Then Mary asked, “what’s for tea, I haven’t eaten anything for the past four days.”
“Nor have I,” said Norman.
“you can have a sandwich and some water,” replied Mr Granger.
“thank you,” they both said simultaneously.
Once they’d eaten, it was time for bed.

They settled down on their old, ragged and uncomfortable beds, then tried to get some sleep. But, whilst they were half asleep and nearly fully out, they heard someone speaking German.
“Psst, Mary, do you hear that?” Norman whispered.
“ mmm, what?” Mary replied.
“ I think Mr Granger might be a German spy,” he replied.
“Well, let’s think of a way to prove it to the police or something.” Mary said.

So they got up and tiptoed around the room to find something that will record what they were hearing. They heard: Screaming, shouting, accusing and allot more.
“Aha, found one,” said Norman.
“Ok, let’s get recording!” Mary replied.
So, they layed on the cold, hard ground and started recording the conversation.

After about five minutes, they stopped recording and sent it to the police by voicemail. Then, they settled down again and went to sleep ( again ).
“Night Mary,” said Norman. But unfortunately, she was already fast asleep.

The next morning at about 10:00am, the police arrived. “ Mr Granger, you are arrested on suspicion of being a German spy!” They said.
“But…” Spluttered Mr Granger.
“ Ah, no buts. Anything you say can, and will be reported back to the court of law,” the police said. They then took Mr Granger away. But, whilst the two children were eating breakfast, Mary spotted something…
“Hey Norman, look! I think that’s Mr Granger’s phone,” she said.
“Yeah, let’s see if he has John’s phone number!” Norman replied.
“Why?” Mary asked.
“So, we can phone him up and tell him to come and take us home!” Exclaimed Norman bouncing up and down excitedly.

They looked through Mr Granger’s contacts. After a while, they found it.
“Here we go!” Shouted Norman.
“Ok, let’s phone him up.” Replied Mary. The phone started to ring.
“Hello?” A voice said down the phone.
“John! It’s Norman, come and take us home, NOW!!” Demanded Norman.
“Why,” he replied.
“No time to tell, just come quick.” Norman hung up.

Once John had parked outside, he beeped his horn. Norman and Mary, who had already packed, grabbed their bag and hopped in the car. Norman got dropped off first, then Mary.
“Bye.” Said Norman.
“Bye.” Said Mary. Their parents were so happy to see them, and the two children were happy to be back.

THE END.

 

CAMERON’s ideas:

A few days later, they had an eccentric visitor, who both had sly looks on their faces, like they were both up to something. Bob and Mary started to get very suspicious of Mr Granger .Then they overheard him speaking to his strange friend Bob and Mary could tell by his accent.

Bob and Mary had started finding mysterious clues like maps of Germany and spy uniform that looked extremely new like it had been purchased very recently . They also found a tracking device so Mr Granger and his weird friend knew where Hitler was every minute of every day. One night his friend came back. That night they found a folder that was called ‘Operation assantion’ witch was all about Hitler.

Declan’s ideas:

The figure started to light up and get higher and higher until he dissapeard.He came back the figure whisperd”follow me”the kids looked at each other, they decided to follow the white figure as it slowly drifted down the corridor, the figure kept looking back to make sure they were still there. The figure led them down the stairs into the cellar “why are we in the cellar? “said Lucas. “Turn the painting around”whisperd the figure the kids turned the painting and they saw loads of Hitler portraits and a German uniform. The kids, who screamed like crazy, phoned the police on Mr Granger(wee oo wee oo) the police arrived “Mr Granger your under arrest !”shouted the police. The figure dissapeard again.

 

 

 

Story planning

We have been using Julia Jarman’s story plan, and advice, to create a story that starts with a character and a problem. This problem gets gradually worse throughout the story and the tension builds to a climax.  We were given 2 characters to choose from but had to decide on our own problem and how to build this up. Here are some of our plans. 20151111_14164520151111_14180020151111_14191420151111_14184420151111_14182420151111_14172420151111_141532

Spooky Cosy Read Day and meeting Julia Jarman

On Friday we had a fantastically spooky day, with lots of Halloween themed activities. We all looked amazing in our costumes and some people made a massive effort with clothes and make up to look super scary!

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We met Julia Jarman and learned about how she writes her stories by starting with a character and a problem and asking lots of ‘what if’ questions to build a good story. She uses some real people and events in her stories, but also uses her imagination to make things more exciting. She has written over 100 books and told us how she starts with a ‘story mountain’ to build tension towards a climax, with lots of drafts and edits on the way.DSC_9391DSC_9392DSC_9398DSC_9394 DSC_9396

This will all really help us when we start to think about writing our own stories next half term. We could even send them to Julia to see what she thinks of them and if she can give us any more advice.

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Sweet dreams everyone!