IN Year 6, we have started looking at various types of sentences and how they can help our writing become better (and more interesting for the reader).
Here is one example:
In unison, a flock of black birds were flying in the sweet Spanish sky. Carefully the birds came soaring down to the ground. Then the chapel started to ring quietly and slowly. In rhythm with the birds the bell was going back and forward. Whilst in the cafe, a man was tidying the front wall. Then a motorbike came and disturbed the elegant noises. Bang! Band! Bang! An enormous hammer forced a slender nail into some wood. Then the calm noises were disturbed again. That same motorbike came back.
Whilst it is good, it isn’t perfect what are your comments? Both positive and constructive. (NOT NEGATIVE)